It’s just a Monday. I’m depressed; more depressed than usual. I don’t really do well with continuous amounts of free time. I mean, I woke up late, ate too large of a breakfast, then fell asleep on the couch while watching Cuckoo on Netflix (which, by the way, is so cringe-y that I’m not sure if I can revisit it).
It took so much strength just to get up–and when I did, I cooked some chicken breasts I had thawed. I hope they’re alright. I haven’t tried them yet. They seem dry. I normally take the time to cook them in a pan and douse them in sauces, but I went for a brush-on of jarred curry and some extra seasonings today. Then I jerked off for like, I don’t know, an hour or so? It was fine. It was hot–and I do absolutely need to change my sheets tonight.
I finally pulled myself out of that and slapped some makeup on before packing my backpack and heading to the library. That’s just what I do now when I need to get out of the house. It forces me to do things like this–write a terrible blog post. Also job search, but that always leads me to resting my head against my hand and staring at my laptop screen incredulously. I feel like I’ve looked so much that I don’t know what else to look for. I’m sure I need more professional help with my resume. I should do that soon. I just need space, literally. I need more money in order to get my own space though. I’m an adult, like a full-blown adult. I can’t handle being in one small room all the time.
Hence, the library. I don’t even want to be here. Some days I look forward to it, but not tonight. I just stayed up until 6am the other day drinking, but I wouldn’t mind getting drunk again. Instead, I guess I’ll dick around here some more, then maybe go get some organic cotton balls for my vape. Oh yeah, I’m 6 days smoke-free.
That’s something. That is something.